You know what? There might be no one word for my 2016.
Yep! But, before I explain why…
Here’s a brief “history” of my words for the past three years.
In 2013, I started with the word Shine. I wanted to shine for Jesus.
Then, I moved on to Freedom the year after that. I wanted to be free from clutter and negativity.
Last year, my word became words and they were: Own less, create more. I did get to purge toys and baby paraphernalia, but last Christmas we received more toys. I did create more; or so I thought. I shared some on my Instagram with the hashtag #Cymplifiedillustration.
But, I realize that I am still a work in progress. Who isn’t?
I still frown, lose my temper and fail to read God’s Word every day. Our house is still very much cluttered. I still feel anxious about many things. It’s like I’m surrounded by a haze, unsure of myself, hesitant to create watercolor art if it won’t result in perfection. Will people like it? Is it artsy enough?
I think I fell into the trap social media has unknowingly set. It’s the FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) trap and secretly checking for new post ‘likes’ and followers. It’s as if I’m living and creating not for myself but for the approval of others.
This led me to pen my new year’s eve recollection, 30 minutes before the clock struck midnight.
In the quiet corner of my mind, sorting through my unruly thoughts like combing my wild hair, I try to make sense of my reflections.
What have I achieved in the year 2015? What did I bring to the table? Are any of my deeds worth anything?
I think that one’s living conditions dictate the conditions of living. Not everyone could fulfill her dreams, unless she has financial means or unless she’s really, REALLY good. How about those who are in-between or average?
I don’t think that one could be fully herself or fully happy. There are a lot of things or people to consider, and it’s not just some random people’s opinions. It’s of one’s family’s and of the responsibilities to them. There is no ultimate freedom.
Gazing up at the night sky on New Year’s eve, I imagine people’s lives are like fireworks. Lighting up the dark for just a short time, one needs to make it the brightest, the most colorful. She must make it count.
I know my entry sounded less hopeful than it should. That’s why I do not have my ‘one word’, because I have a low expectation that another word could help, even change, me.
I am not exactly planless. I have decided to continue with shining, with journeying to freedom from clutter which means owning less, and with creating for God and myself, not for ‘likes’ or ‘hearts’ or ‘retweets’. And maybe, this year will be the year I finally can drive.
Creating for myself means I will get to know myself again. What do I desire, deep, deep down? What will make my heart dance and my soul sing? What motivates me? I will find out my weaknesses and strengths. I will introspect more, along with what I call “theospection”, which is to look into God, through His Word.
Last January 4, I started a reading plan on the YouVersion app called the Bible In One Year 2016. Yes, I will read the whole Bible again. I think it’s good to do so because I get to discover God’s truths that are applicable to the season of my life right now. I pray that I will make it a habit. “On average, it takes more than 2 months before a new behavior becomes automatic — 66 days to be exact.” I’m on day 15!
How about you? Have you started a new habit this year? What is it and how are you going to sustain it? 🙂