The result of being compared with other people who were seemingly more beautiful, more talented and smarter was a girl who is insecure, who isn’t sure of what she really wanted and who is striving to be someone else. Her decisions were made for her. She was living a meaningless and purposeless life. She was willing to settle for mediocrity.
There was a span of time when she was following one of her schoolmates from high school on Facebook. She would read about a fairytale wedding, the expensive baby gears, the birthday photo-shoots of a baby girl, the travels to another country, the fruits of a shopping spree, and so on, with loads of pictures. The insecure girl felt really small and discontent. The desire to be in her schoolmate’s designer shoes was too great. Frustrated that it will never happen in this lifetime, she went through the motions of life distracted.
She remembered that she vowed not to compare her children with one another or with others. She realized that she first needed to start with herself. She then turned off the feeds of that schoolmate on Facebook, and started to learn to accept herself and journeyed towards self-confidence in the context of God’s love and acceptance.
First step of that journey is understanding oneself.
According to Dr. Harold J. Sala in his book Winning Your Inner Struggles, “Understanding yourself is a step towards inner peace, and a step towards achieving your unfulfilled ambitions.” Also, “Understanding yourself is the first step towards being a better person, a more effective parent.”
The next step is loving oneself by acceptance of self.
Dr. Sala said that, “If you don’t learn to love yourself, you will never be very successful loving anyone else.” And that, “Self-acceptance in the context of Christian faith results in an inner radiance that comes from the indwelling presence of Christ in a life.”
Say this with me:
I’m a person of great value and worth.
I’m a person whom Jesus loves so I can love myself.
I’m a person who is becoming the person God wants me to be.
I’m me and I wouldn’t want to be anybody else in all the world!
The insecure girl wants to walk in her shoes… in her OWN shoes, that is!
I guess we all have our share of insecurities, particularly during the teenage years. But as we grow as adults, we mature in our perspective and in time, we learn to love and appreciate what we have. I guess it is in our nature to be always comparing ourselves with others. But if that becomes a hindrance to our happiness, then something must really be done. I believe that a healthy, stable relationship with God takes out all those insecurities as we become confident in His love and mercies.
Aileen recently posted..Infographic: Optimize Your Health
I agree with you, Aileen, especially about our relationship with God.
great post you’ve here sis, and a great reminder as well,, i agree being compared to someone is not good as we are individually unique
Rosemarie/Gven-Rose recently posted..The Little One is Little No More
Great post, Ms. Cym. I, too, am guilty of comparing myself to others sometimes. I just realized how wrong it is when I began comparing my baby to others. This needs to stop! And so I learned how to appreciate our own attributes, skills, and blessings. 🙂
Maan recently posted..Birthday Post: 23 Things I’m Thankful For
It is really hard not compare yourself with others. It takes a lot of maturity, self-awareness and constant reexamination of one’s self, ideals and beliefs. I try my best not to. It helps to be thankful of what we have and the knowledge that each person is fighting some kind of battle and we only know a person’s struggles from what we see. It is all about perception.
kat recently posted..10 ways to celebrate summer the whole year round
Thank you for this reminder! Yeah, each one of us has a gift, different from the others. It’s up to us to nurture that gift. 🙂
Meikah Ybañez-Delid recently posted..SaturDate: French Open 2013 – Sharapova vs. Williams: SportyDad’s Dream Finals Match
We wouldn’t be as lovable if weren’t unique.
eLLa (r) recently posted..Oceano Acuatico Restaurant
Comparing is not good at all and it is the start of jealousy. In our house as much as possible we try not to compare but the Titos and Titas are sometimes hardheaded and compares them.
Each one are unique with different talents, different intellect and different views.
Daddy Yashiro recently posted..Daddy Day Care: School Shoes for Maki
each individual is unique, we can’t compare ourselves with anybody else because we all have our blessed personality and life to cherish. be happy and be blessed. 🙂
Vanessa recently posted..Lovin’ Accessories!
Beautiful post, mommy! We should appreciate our children’s uniqueness and love them for it. I know, it is difficult not to compare and even if you don’t, tactless and thoughtless people like teachers, neighbors and relatives would. I think we should also build in our children self-confidence and love of self, so that words of other people won’t mater
Marie recently posted..On Choosing a Day Care Center
It resonates! I love this post. I think at one point in our lives since we were kids we were compared to others, hence we developed such thoughts asking ourselves if we are enough or aren’t we better yet? Perhaps we cannot remember the exact experience when we were compared and how we felt, but it sure was pushed into our subconscious mind. The reason perhaps when we feel insecurities when we’re grown-ups.
I agree with you, that’s also my vow not to compare my kid with his other siblings (vice versa), not even compare him to other kids. Each one is unique and each one is loved for that.
Thank you for a beautiful post.
Kristine recently posted..5 Pin-able Quotes About Fathers
I totally agree! “I am a person of great value and worth”!
JanzCrystalz recently posted..How to Plan a Corporate Event
Wise wise words. I am happy to have learned this lesson too. Sometimes, it still happens, and something (like this post) knocks the sense back into my head. 🙂
Vera recently posted..From My Reader: IKEA Hackers
Praise God for a wonderful shared story! I am glad that girl had made a good realization. We are all created unique and cannot be compared to anybody else- this is what I believed in. We have our own beauty different from others. We cannot tell other people of their short comings because we all have our own short comings and we have our own talents and should not be compared with anybody else and others should learn how to accept us the way we are. We are all loved by Jesus. We are all children of God.
Glenda recently posted..LEARNING…EARNING
As I was reading the post earlier, I am really trying to analyze myself if I have been like that. I don’t want to be hypocrite to say that I don’t compare myself, but I look at it on a different note, that I can be as beautiful or more beautiful than others. ~~ my POV
If I’ll have a kid though, she/he will be the most beautiful person in my eyes. Case closed. 🙂 haha
tet recently posted..KSeries: Cheongdamdong Alice (English Subs)
I agree, insecurities can really pull one down. It can even pull you away from the people around you.
Lady Anne recently posted..Bohol: Day Trip in Alona Tropical Beach Resort
Being compared to someone else is not a good treat to have, we should encourage our children to be confident and contented of what they have, Live life with happiness and lots of love.:)
This is true. If we kept on comparing our kids with other kids then we are not helping them. They will just have low self confidence. And I agree with you, we must learn to understand, appreciate and love ourselves.
Mommy Maye recently posted..Daily Inspiration: Telling Lies
Yes, each person has his/her own journey.