Rivers of tears were flowing from her eyes and heart, at three in the morning.
The baby in her arms was begging for breastmilk, crying and squirming.
The only comfort they both knew, was taken away by the need for medication.
She wished that for weaning a baby off breastfeeding, there was also education.
Her chest was wrung and constricted with guilt and great sadness.
The end of their journey was just beginning and already she felt helpless.
Inhaling deeply, she said to herself, “This would belong to the past.”
On daddy’s chest her precious baby slipped into slumber at last.
I could still remember the time I attended Mothercare’s Baby & Me Club meeting and learned about breastfeeding. Sadly, I wasn’t well-informed with my first two babies. I told Rix that I wouldn’t buy formula when I give birth to Cayla. That was when my breastfeeding journey began.
- I attended a talk about sustaining breastfeeding.
- I also went to Medela House’s baby shower on behalf of my friend.
- I bought nursing brassieres and tops.
- I took malunggay capsules.
- I munched on Mommy Treats lactation goodies.
It was a memorable experience because I discovered I could actually do it! I wanted to give up in the early days when it was too painful for me, my nipples even bled, but I persisted, keeping in mind the benefits and how God gave me the opportunities to acquire knowledge about exclusively breastfeeding. I achieved my goals of breastfeeding for 6 months, for one year, and more.
18 months after, my breastfeeding journey had to come to an end. I would certainly miss our special time in our breastfeeding spot, the extra cuddling and holding her to me so tight she’ll laugh. And the click of a nursing bra. I feel like I’m letting go of a relationship and whenever I look at my little angel, there’s an ache in my heart. A yearning to go back in time.
Maybe I’m feeling sentimental because Cayla is our last baby. And baby she would always be, even though she’s not nursing anymore. I love that I got to practise extended breastfeeding. With all the challenges and discouragement I faced, I really am glad I took this breastfeeding journey with her.