Creative Soul, Cymplified!

I could relate with @iamaimeediego when she said in one of her posts that she had a creative itch but didn’t know how to express it. I feel like I am stuck in a creative funk lately, but I am not currently working on anything. I feel like I should be creating something: poems? painting? crafts? I used to think that I have a creative soul, although I am all thumbs with crafts and gift-wrapping  But seeing other people create something beautiful, something people like instantly, well, it just makes me doubtful of my talents. Psh! Do I have any talent at all? (see what I mean?)

Yes, I had a creative soul. I mean, look at a page of my drawing book when I was younger.

I copied these characters somewhere. I didn’t take any lesson in drawing so I didn’t know about using guidelines. Maybe that’s why there’s something not quite right about Jasmine. Haha!

Anyway, I realized that as a child, when I wanted to draw something, I just went ahead and did it. Even if it was on my late grandpa’s red Chinese newspaper or on torn spiral notebook pages.

I would draw after school. And, I would also compose poems. Lots of them. I think I made more than a hundred poems since I was 10 years old. Here is a sample poem I did.

Who’s scrambling in the dark, with their arms stretched out?
Aimless in many ways, ’cause the head is clouding with doubt
Can’t put down what they’re carrying, ’cause they’re standing on a stone
They could be everywhere, ’cause they don’t have a mind of their own
Wishing for this and that, wishing for everything
Want to fly far and away with a broken wing
Who goes with the waves, and carried to the middle?
Every direction has a question, every direction has a riddle
Each step uncertain, the eyes unsure
Each disease is brought, can’t find a cure
The will of the wind makes them toss and turn
And not a bit of knowledge will they ever learn
Snow and hail bury the earth, but not a clothing wrapped
In a mysterious dungeon they’re all trapped
Who falls from the autumn trees, cold and dead on the ground?
And like bees in the rain, knew nothing all around
Night is black, and the colourful rainbow, these they don’t know how to differ
From them who are poor and blind, what can we infer?
We who know the sun and are showered with light
Blossom in barren fields, in pink, yellow, red so bright
We, who are children of God have the wisdom to smile
And as we walk the upward trail, there’s joy in every mile
There’s laughter in happiness, and music in a harmonic accord
There’s a song with every motion, when living with the Lord

Reading my poems now, some I found quite corny. But I didn’t think that before. I just went ahead and did it.

Now that I am supposed to be a responsible grown-up, I don’t go ahead and do what I wanted. I thought of what I wanted to do AND how I can generate income from it. I thought of what I wanted to do AND how to do it perfectly at the first try, because time is of the essence, you know? I thought of what I wanted to do AND what I wanted to do became merely thoughts.

My children with their innocence, innate joy, wonder and imagination awakened something in me. The creative spark in me flickered and went steady. I feel the need to create something I liked and would also serve as my legacy for them. That’s why I want to get reacquainted with my creative soul. I want to try, and fail (oh, please no!), and try again. I want to learn and try again. But, first, I have to go ahead and just do it.

Hope I could get motivated consistently! How about you? Are you a creative soul?