Torn {Mommy Guilt}, Cymplified!

Ever since I decided to be a stay-at-home-mom, I have struggled with this decision. I wanted to personally take care of my kids, but I also feel guilty for not contributing financially. Hence, I also have the desire to work. Or at least work from home. It is also a dream of mine to have my own business, but it is difficult to come up with a feasible one. The moms who work from home or who have successful businesses are quite enviable because they have the best of both worlds.

Elle: Daddy, when I grow really big I go to work like you?
Daddy: Yes.
Elle: No, no! Syoti (little brother) only because he’s a boy like you. I stay home like mommy.

She thinks that girls don’t work because of me.
How do I change her mindset? Do I go back to work when they’re bigger?

Hiring help here in the Philippines seems like a necessity, especially for a mom like me who is about to have an additional baby to two little ones. As much as I would like to care for my one-year-old myself, it is getting quite hard for my pregnant body. I had to resort to having a nanny for him. With this, I get to run errands on my own, go out with my friend Meg, date my eldest and rest. The downside is that baby Caleb gets to be close to the nanny and, I do miss carrying him and cuddling him.

When living in the heart of a chaotic city like where I reside in, it frustrates me to no end that there is no park nearby where I could bring my kids to play in. I think we badly need fresh air. It also doesn’t help that I cannot drive! We are limited by the confines of our home. The kids do get tired of playing with the same toys sometimes, they get tired of scribbling and drawing sometimes, they get tired of the books sometimes, and my 4-year-old would then turn on the TV and tune in to Disney Junior. I am not a TV person (I realize it now), so I cringe when they watch it and the ill effects of letting the television babysit my kids float to my mind. It’s hard to keep children entertained for very long. There is a need for a variety of things to do. Could they make crafts on their own? Because a crafty mom I am not!

Being a mom is such a challenging and overwhelming role to play. I am the prime influence in my children’s lives. I must make good on an unspoken promise to guide them to be God-fearing and responsible adults. But I know I also need to relax a little. For me, being pressured and harried could cause me to stumble more.