I love my children. I don’t have to say why.
It’s more than a feeling a parent cannot deny.
But, why the raised voices, empty threats and short temper?
That should change, to be my children’s Christlike keeper.
That is why I attended the Yes Mommy Workshop by Optimommy Jayme. I want learn how to talk so my children will listen and understand. I want to communicate positively with my precious little ones. I want to shine as a mother.
First, I needed to understand how communication works. I must consider my receivers’ (You know Berlo’s S-M-C-R model? These receivers are my children.) communication skills, attitudes, knowledge, social systems and culture. Since they are still very young, what I say to them should be simple and clear. As the sender, positive communication begins with me and I am 100% responsible for how I communicate with my kids.
Positive communication with my children starts with positive communication with myself. If I keep on saying things like “Oh, look at how fat you are!” to myself, it’s no surprise that I would also nitpick on my kids. And that’s something I want to avoid. That’s why, I am learning to love myself, flaws and all, to be beautiful from within so they would do the same. I want my kids to be happy being themselves and be secure in the knowledge that God loves them no matter what.
How do I project positivity? Techniques to try:
- Think gratitude
- Pray for patience
- Praise yourself
What are the three elements of positive communication?
- Clear
- Congruent – word + tonality + body language
- Proactive
Communicating positively with our children takes a lot of effort, practice and patience. I was assured that I may never get it perfectly but just putting these ideas to work will help connecting with my children easier.
By the way, I recently read this article and the words resonated with me very much. I want to encourage other moms like me with the 20 Things Every Parent Should Hear.
hanny says
I do agree that we needed to learn how to communicate positively. Husband and I agreed that we have to be very careful on every words that we will utter to our children. Negative words can hurt and break them. Indeed it is not easy to do.
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Mylene says
I think this is one thing that I must learn, how to communicate effectively. It has been always my prayer to be the best Mom to my children.
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ceemee says
And, my prayer as well!
Mommy Maye says
This is what I need. I ma homeschooling my son and it’s never easy since he’s so playful. Well, I know even if I’m not homeschooling him I need to know how to communicate well. I have read the article and I am somewhat relieved. I should learn to communicate better with my son. I don’t like the idea that he will grow to be aloof to us.
Courtney~Mommy LaDy Club says
Learning to speak positively is a skill that will take you through life, and not just parenting;)
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Dominique Goh says
I believe in positive parenting too.. however whatever method which you adopt has to be tailored to the kids character and needs.
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Melgie says
I have 2 little ones, and It’s hard..Patience! patience! sometimes I yelled at them, and I feel bad afterwards. I would say communication is the key and letting them know what you don’t like in friendly, firm manner:)
tet says
I hope those kinds of workshop will be known more to mothers since family is where we teach them how to reach out and be open to us. In school, we encounter a lot of problems with the students simply because they do not have a direct line of communication with their family members. That’s where problems arise.
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ceemee says
It’s sad when children cannot be open to their parents, who should be their anchors for their principles and beliefs in life.
Lady Anne says
I guess I have to pray harder for patience. I really want to be a good parent in the future, just like my folks.
Allan says
You need lots of patience when talking to your kids. Sometimes, even you are serious, they look at you as if you are just playing with them. Like out little Matt, he used to play when we talk to him but eventually he remembers what all we said to him.
Mys says
Communication, making them understand, grows with their age. My kids tend to test my limits and I try as much as possible not to lie to them I praise them and tell them always that I love them even if I’m angry at them in that moment.
Rosemarie/Gven-Rose says
great post, I am sometimes shouting and short tempered but then it is not easy being a mother
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Farida says
This is a great reminder for every aunt like me. I detest being shouted at so I just talk to my pamangkins all the time. And I also found out that they listen more when you talk nicely to them 🙂
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Linnor says
i’m guilty about the raised voice and short temper… and these are things i’m consciously working on… thanks for sharing this post!
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Daddy Yashiro says
Sometimes it is really hard to do communicate with the kids and having good positive communications with them makes it really simple and at ease.
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Mys says
Positivity and patience. Wow, that’s a bit tough for me, but I try. Sometimes, when I’m at my limit, talagang don’t say a word na lang ako. Sometimes, I win the fight about being patient, most of the time, I lose. I just remind myself that I have to pick my battles with my kids.
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ceemee says
That’s true! It’s tough for me, too.
RonLeyba says
Nice poem at the start of this article. And I quite agree that communication is the key in everything for our kids.
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KRIZZA says
It’s nice to know that there are parenting seminars now to guide parents well.. But even I did not attend any seminar, I’m happy that I have raise my children well. Open line communication is the key.
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Meikah Ybañez-Delid says
I like this line: “Positive communication with my children starts with positive communication with myself.” So true! We begin with our self. 🙂 This is a big challenge for us moms, really. At the height of our anger sometimes we tend to flare up. 🙂 Thanks for sharing this good reminder!
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Vanessa says
this is a very inspiring post, sis. i learned so much just by reading it. I love this part “I am learning to love myself, flaws and all… and i want my kids to be secure in the knowledge that GOD loves them no matter what.”
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Kristine says
This is very helpful for me sis. I’ve been stalking Jayme’s blog for awhile and want to join in one of her workshops, too. The thing is I’m here in Negros and it would cost me much. I thank you for sharing what you learned from her. Praising oneself hits me. I’m so frugal in giving praise to myself, and I should change.
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ceemee says
Glad to know I have helped you. 🙂
Vera says
I heard it said before that there is no preparation for parenthood, meron din, and every parent-to-be should take the time and make the effort to prepare. Alam ko it’s not easy, and you’re doing a fantastic job 🙂 I salute you!
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ceemee says
Thank you, Vera!
Marie says
Parenting is not a walk in the park and you are soo right there. Our self-image will definitely reflect on our children. (And oh, as a mom of of two teen girls, I think there should also be seminars for raising teens too)
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Glenda says
Cute pix of your baby. Parenting is not really easy, seminars can though.
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eLLa (r) says
Raising children is the most difficult job ever. But it’s good that while you discipline your kids, you’d learn to discipline yourself too.
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