Six years ago, in the hospital where I gave birth, a nurse from the nursery told me that my baby needed to be roomed-in because of lack of space. I could not believe it. The notion was too ridiculous for me. There I was, alone in the room (Rix went home to fetch some baby things), the IV still attached to the back of my hand, and I was just starting to get the hang of being back on my feet after the operation. The nurses wheeled in the bassinet containing my little one and I felt like crying. Not from overly joy, but because I felt helpless; I was unprepared and very nervous. I have never carried a newborn baby before. I thought, What if she cries? What should I do?
She did cry and I reached in, gently supported her head with the crook of my arm and held her while I slowly walked around the hospital bed. Surprisingly, it felt natural. Rix walked in on me carrying our first bundle of joy. Amazed, he asked how I knew the way to hold a baby. I smiled and said, “I don’t know. I just knew.”
For the following years, I wish ‘I just knew’ what to do, how to discipline, how to be a perfect mother. Yet, I made mistakes, I was confused; motherhood was, and still is, an ever continuing learning process for me. Each day, I am so thankful for my firstborn’s resiliency in bearing the brunt of my errors from never-ending trials of parenting.
I was still working at the bank when I discovered I was pregnant. From then on I ballooned and walked like a penguin. I really thought I was having a baby boy because my nose was big and my neck was so dark. I doubted if what they said about gender guessing based on the pregnant mom’s appearance was true. At night, I would play soothing instrumental baby music to my baby with a device I borrowed from my sister-in-law which connects my belly to the music player.
On my last check-up, I was surprised to find out that I was 2 cm. dilated already. I think I got weak in the knees, literally. I couldn’t believe it! I don’t even have my hospital bag with me, yet. For the next several hours, I was wheeled in and out of the DR, but I reached 3 cm. only. I don’t know why, but suspected it was because of my fear. An emergency C-section had to be performed on me. I was afraid! I wished Rix could be in the OR with me. I felt alone in a (operating) room full of strangers save for my OB who said that my baby was cute, after she was pulled out from me. I guess that’s what she says to all moms under her care, when I heard that line again from her as I gave birth to my third baby. 🙂
For the first few days, a nurse from the nursery came to administer antibiotics injection to my little angel. The nurse also bathed my baby while I observed how to do it. It wasn’t easy for me, I had to endure the pain of my carpal tunnel syndrome I had while I was pregnant. Thank God it went away after some time. I made the most of my maternity leave observing the nanny, taking photos of my cutie and writing down some memories on my diary and blog. I always sang Christian songs while I rocked her to sleep, I played nursery songs to her during her waking hours, I enjoyed our adventures together and hope there would be many, many more in the future.
This is the birth story of Ella, my eldest, who is teaching me to be patient, to be responsible and to be fun-loving, every day. With her, I have learned that I will never be a perfect mother, but I will always be the best mom for her. I love my creative, enthusiastic and energetic baby girl so much!
a tight hug makes a happy mommy
i love reading birth story. I had read Daphne Osena’s and Kelle Hampton. Have you read Kelle’s birth story about her 2 daughters? Oh my i cried like a baby especially Nella’s story.
Tondo Girl recently posted..OFW Life: Experiencing Madinat Jumeirah – Mina A’ Salam Hotel
hay, this made me reminisce my birth story to my baby boy. and oh, i had carpal tunnel syndrome too when i was pregnant. but sadly, i still suffer from the pain until now (but not as painful when i was preggy), almost 2 years after giving birth. lovely photo of you and your daughter. i love tight hugs, too!
Ang sakit di ba?
I think first-time moms feel the same way. 🙂 Motherhood is a learning experience really. You can do it!
Meikah Ybañez-Delid recently posted..Love Free Samples – Win a $200 Wal-Mart Gift Card Contest
Great birth story… haven’t really written much about the 3 births that I had too but I’ sure you are enjoying it as a mom.
Dominique Goh recently posted..Break Pal Giveaway – (WW) ends 10th August
Thank you so much for sharing Ella’s birth story. That\s a real good photo of the two of you there. 🙂
Vera recently posted..Don’t Stop Believing
I remember the birth of my first baby too, and everything change… It good to b a Mom:)
Awww. That’s so sweet Cym. She is so cute. I hope I could write a birth story soon as well.
Lady Anne recently posted..Cebu Pacific Flies To Phuket!
Nice to know you still have a vivid memory of your experience on your first born. 🙂 Priceless moments really carved the heart especially for moms. <3
GeriLen recently posted..Baby’s First Oral Hygiene
I love the way you described how pretty Ella transformed your life into something you are now. I’m sure that she is doubly blessed to have a Christian mom like you too! I enjoyed reading this, Ceemee 🙂
Farida recently posted..Travel Off-Peak
Thanks, Farida! I do get transformed by my children day by day.
I have never know the perfect rule or guide on how to be a PERFECT mother or parent…this is the hardest task one cannot be perfected BUT we can still be guided by God through HIS teaching and LOVE can be one of the secret. Amazing that we, mothers, instantly knew how to carry our own children and the joy this little gift from God that brings.
Glenda recently posted..LONG LIFE
We are all perfect for our own children, that’s why God gave them to us.
I had emergency C-section with my first child because of oligohydramnios and I almost freaked out when the hospital staff was giving her to me from the nursery for rooming in lol. I was like “can she stay longer there?” My incision hurt a lot kasi. Thankfully hubby knows how to take care of babies (he had younger siblings)….
Thank God for our hubbies, right?
Awww… such a touching story 🙂
My birthing story for my second is super dooper delayed na. Everytime I start writing, my brains automatically signed out hahaha! Di ko tuloy natutuloy.
Jhari recently posted..LO148 – Happy
I just wanted to chronicle them for the future. 🙂
Hehe! Post it in pictures nalang.
Hi baby Ella! 🙂