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cymplified books, cymplified womanhood

It’s Not Fair by Melanie Dale, Cymplified!

“It’s not fair!”

It’s been whined countless times by children. Grown-ups are more careful saying this in order for them to seem mature. But, deep down inside, all of us have a desire to scream it out when unfortunate things happen to us. Usually, we scream it at God.

“God, why is her husband sweeter? It’s not fair!”
“God, why don’t I have a lovely home? It’s not fair!”
“God, why are my dreams not coming true? It’s not fair!”

It’s Not Fair  by Melanie Dale promised to be a friend, a companion for difficult times. It delivered by not judging and having a disclaimer for everything. It made me snort in an attempt to laugh silently. If I laugh loudly, my kids would come up to me to ask, “What’s funny?” Then, I would need to give an explanation, which might be long. It wouldn’t have a conclusion because I’d lose my train of thought. The children would nod in obvious confusion.

Reading the stories and about the situations featured in the book, I would say I’ve got good things going on. I am grateful. The book inspired me to be honest with God; about my feelings and thoughts. It also suggested some things to try when coping with sorrow and unfairness. Additionally, one of the important things I could do to help myself.

So, here I am, trying to love the life I didn’t choose, to be a better daughter of God and in the roles He gave me. I would recommend this book to women, especially mothers, who want to broaden their perspectives.

Tell me, how do you love the life you didn’t choose?

Note: I was provided with a free copy by BookLook in exchange for an honest review. All opinions expressed are my own.

It's Not Fair: Learning to Love the Life You Didn't Choose Book Cover It's Not Fair: Learning to Love the Life You Didn't Choose
Melanie Dale
Christian Self-Help

Hey, you. Are you debating whether to destroy something with your bare hands or curl up on the couch for a decade or two?

This book will solve all of your problems. (Sheesh, that’s aiming a bit high.)

This book is a cup of hot coffee, a ginormous bar of chocolate, or the magical fairy that comes over and does your dishes while you lie in the fetal position clutching a fluffy pillow.

Sometimes when life falls apart the only acceptable response is hysterical laughter. When things get so far gone, so spectacularly a world away from any plans you made or dreams you dreamed, you feel it bubbling up inside of you and you scream, “It’s not fair!” And it isn’t. Fair is an illusion, and life is weird.

This book will help you laugh at life’s absurd backhands. This book is an empathetic groan of our collective unfairnesses. You might want to throw it across the room, and you might want to hug it like your new best friend. This book is about us sitting down together in our shared mess, taking a deep breath, gripping hands, looking the hard stuff in its beady little eyeballs, and bahahahaaing at it.

Life’s not fair, but we can learn to love this life we didn’t choose.


  1. We can relate – It’s not fair! We are living in a world full of imperfections. While some people likes to polish or change it, I always think on the positive side to be grateful of the things or people that loves me and makes me happy.
    jem alvarado recently posted..A Day in the Life of a WAHM

    1. Gratefulness is key to positivity!

  2. We didn’t choose life, but God choose our life. If what we have now it’s because it was God who planned it and designed it for us long time ago. God’s plan for us is the best. Sometimes there’s a lot of question that comes into our mind sometimes we don’t understand why it’s happening but in the right time we just realize that everything has a purpose and ma appreciate natin. This is really a nice read sis.

    1. Thank you, it is. I totally agree with you.

  3. Sounds like a nice book. I’ve learned since I was a kid that life is unfair. But my brother passing away so suddenly at the age of 20 taught me that life is short and that we shouldn’t waste our time moping and whining. Instead we should focus on our blessings because there are others who have it worse.
    Janice recently posted..Get Creative This Year With Your Home Improvements

    1. I agree with what you said. Focus on blessings, yes!

  4. It seems like everyone of us can benefit from a book like this! I feel you when you laugh and the kids ask what’s so funny and then you’d have to give an answer. Hehe. I’ll keep this book in mind when I have the time to read. 🙂
    Ma.Me.Mi.Mommy recently posted..STAR Fairy Bread, a New Snack Idea

    1. The book promises to be a companion, so I guess it’s quite beneficial.

  5. There are just things that are not for us. Humility is most often the key.

    1. One of the lessons life teaches us is to be humble.

  6. To be honest, I’m still a work in progress. I still find myself in situations where I still ask God about my situations in life. I’d love to wake up one morning loving everything life throws my way, which means, I also want a copy of this book.
    Maria Teresa Figuerres recently posted..Get Greenwich Double Double Pizzas for Only Php299!

    1. Aren’t we all works in progress? Life is a never-ending learning process.

  7. Most of the time, it is really difficult to love something we did not choose but I guess the key is to always be grateful and thankful for everything that comes our way, good or bad.

    This looks like a very interesting read. Hopefully, I’d get a copy one of these days

    1. I know, when things do not go the way we choose to, the situation might seem hopeless. But, we are here for a reason, we have our own purpose.

  8. I feel disappointed and sad knowing that others could have what I can’t have. But I also learned of my lessons and learn to accept that truth. I also learned not to compare and just be happy and contented on what we could have. This is a nice way to remind us again to be thankful of what we have and aim for our wishes and wants in a nice way.
    Berlin recently posted..MOMI LEARNS| The Privileged. The Humbled. The Grateful.

    1. We need constant reminders to be contented and thankful, yet continually striving to achieve our dreams.

  9. It’s a very interesting book. It’s inspiring. It talks a lot about the sad reality in life and shows how to cope with it

    1. Life really is not fair. But, God said He will never leave us.

  10. I’ve heard so much things about this book and finally, a real and honest review about this. Plus nakakatuwa nagrereview ka talaga!!! I should try this out too.

    1. Glad you are amused! I like doing book reviews most times, especially when the book was enjoyable.

  11. Pinknonenal

    Agree. Oftentimes, we whine about not having a life like others instead of being thankful for our own.

    1. I know, envy does kill joy.

  12. Ayi

    I think I’m gonna need this book. Hahaha. I need a constant reminder that there is a reason for everything that’s going on with my life and I should be thankful about it 🙂
    Ayi recently posted..Real Moms Speak Up on Yaya Uniform: Yay or Nay?

    1. Buy the book and place it in your bag!

  13. Looks like an interesting book. I learned to look at things in a positive way, kaya to be honest I don’t ask this question na unlike before.

    1. That’s great! I am still learning to look at the positive side… And be thankful!

  14. Very interesting! Yup we are like that. We get bratty and whine at times for getting a life we didn’t not want, and have we not all gotten what we have not bargained for? hahaha. I’ll look this book up. Thanks for the recommendation.

    1. Sometimes, we must be careful what we wish for. Hehe!

  15. Hi Cym! It’s true that sometimes we lose focus on what we have if we focus on what we don’t. And when we focus on what we don’t have, that’s when we tend to say it’s not fair.

    1. Hi Louise! Yes, I agree with you completely about focusing on what we do have. That’s where gratefulness comes in.

  16. The synopsis is quite interesting! I wonder if there is an e-book version?

    1. The version I read is an e-book version. 🙂

  17. Coi

    Seems like a good read! Life really is not fair but well it is life, and we just have to deal with it, and make the most of it! Hehe 🙂
    Coi recently posted..Hello 2017

    1. Yes, we get what we have and love it to bits!

  18. Reading your post makes me want to own a copy of this book. This is the type of book that I will enjoy reading over and over.
    Alaine recently posted..OPPO F1s: Day In The Life

    1. Yes, it is! I wish I had a hard copy of it.

  19. I think I want to read this book 🙂 Life is not really fair, but it’s up to us how to look on it and to go on the flow.
    Mommy Anna recently posted..My Birthday

    1. Yes, our attitude matters!

  20. Many would find this book interesting. Personally, I have always felt blesssed and content with all the love I get from family especially my husband. His adoration for me has not wavered all these 23 years being together.

    1. Wow! That’s wonderful!

  21. I’ve been reading fan fiction books for quite sometime now… I think I need to read inspirational books like this too.
    Nerisa recently posted..Scholastic Warehouse Sale 2016

  22. Jhanis

    Would love to read this! Will check if an ebook version is available on Amazon.

    1. I think you would like it!

  23. I just get back to reading and this book sounds good! I started with my old books that i never opened since they were bought, it took me ages! Hehe and i’d like to add this on my reading list..

    1. I also have books that I have never read before. They’re forever on my to-read list.

  24. I’m guilty that sometimes I forget to appreciate life as it is. But come to think of it, just by having all these things around us make us truly blessed. This is a good read! I’ve been looking for inspirational books to read and I will add this to my list! 😉

    1. I’m also guilty of that sometimes.

  25. I read this and this book kind of wrecked me in a good way. I got insight into how she feels going through all things and I feel like it will all be okay that I’ve had the same feelings, doubts and worries. I love the author’s honesty!
    Arlene recently posted..I Had No Idea I’ve been Buying Fake Honey All This Time

    1. Yes, there are some things we want to say, but are afraid of being judged. Here she comes and says those things.

  26. Oh wow. I would love to have a copy of this book right now! Although I know I should be thankful for what I have, there are still times when I struggle. Having a companion during those times would be a huge help!

    1. I know right! We live for relationships.

  27. My mother always told me, the only difference between a good day and a bad day is your attitude. So for your question, loving something something you did not choose always starts with acceptance 🙂

    1. That is so true!

  28. “How do I love the life I didn’t choose?” YOU- really got me here! Honestly, there’s been a struggle going on inside of me about life- some say our life is base on our choices while others believe that life is predestined. So there you go, I am in between these 2 thoughts. It’s just regretful to realize one day that time just passed by so quickly and this is one truth in my life that I am trying to absorb. So for now I try to live to the fullest and experience new things while I am still breathing. Did I answer your hanging question? Nah..I really can’t.

    1. It’s difficult to answer it, right? It’s where we find ourselves hanging between the present and the future. In limbo between enjoying life and doing what is needed for the future.

  29. my life is unfair, but i always know that every thing happen for a reason and God alone has its explanation.
    I cry to release my pain and lift my head and smile
    always saying that ” all in God’s time”

    1. Yes, I agree that only God knows everything and our job is to trust in Him.

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