Children view their moms as loving, caring, strict, mean… But, rarely do moms and fun go together. Let alone a relaxed mom who doesn’t get affected by the kids’ antics.
Before I became a mom, I was a ‘someone’.
I was someone who daydreams. I was a lazy someone.
I was a happy-go-lucky someone.
I was someone who dares to try the scary roller coaster rides.
I was someone who mildly curses. I was someone who rebels a little.
I was someone who loves Linkin Park music.
I was someone who acts like one of the boys. I was someone who plays Counterstrike and billiards.
I was someone who burps and laughs out loud.
I’m not saying that I was a fun someone… But, I have to admit that life before children was less worrisome. It’s just that I was pretty different from how I am at present, because I needed to grow up. Three humans are depending on me now. They are looking up to me and I have to a better person.
After I became a mom, some things changed.
After I became a mom, I worry about many things.
After I became a mom, I am afraid of many things.
After I became a mom, I impose rules and restrictions.
After I became a mom, I think Linkin Park music is too loud for my children.
Life could be monotonous and boring, now that I seem to require the kids to follow the rules. I suppose that is especially true for my kids. For them, I might not be a fun mom. If being fun for them means there are no limits, no rules, getting new toys for no occasion, staying up past bedtime even on school days; then I am okay with that.
Mothers do their best to keep their children healthy & safe, to handle hurts & conflicts, to teach them & guide them. Sometimes, this leads to mamas becoming someone frantic, anxious and uptight. This could also cause frustration, sometimes anger and tension in the family. I know that it’s not good for the health of everyone. There must be a sort of balance somewhere. I find myself wishing I could be a relaxed mom.
FYI, relaxed mom ≠ negligent mom
Sometimes, I tell myself to loosen up. But, how? That is my quest.
Here are some baby steps I am trying:
- Pray. Read God’s Word. Seek His strength and wisdom.
Philippians 4:6 (NIV)
6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
John 14:27 (NIV)
27 Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you; not as the world gives, give I to you. Don’t let your heart be troubled, neither let it be fearful.
- Say ‘yes’ more often, reasonably.
- Smile and laugh more.
- Exercise (I should do this.) Exercise together as a family (we should do this).
- Have some quiet alone time.
- Go on dates with my hubby.
- Ask for his help. Even emotionally.
- Stop comparing. Be unaffected by other people’s opinions.
- Read these blog posts on anxiety from The Better Mom.
relaxed mom = faithful mom
Are you a relaxed mom? Or dad? Or generally, as a person? How do you do it?
I’d love to know your tips. Please share in the comments!