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End Of A (Breastfeeding) Journey, Cymplified!

Rivers of tears were flowing from her eyes and heart, at three in the morning.
The baby in her arms was begging for breastmilk, crying and squirming.
The only comfort they both knew, was taken away by the need for medication.
She wished that for weaning a baby off breastfeeding, there was also education.
Her chest was wrung and constricted with guilt and great sadness.
The end of their journey was just beginning and already she felt helpless.
Inhaling deeply, she said to herself, “This would belong to the past.”
On daddy’s chest her precious baby slipped into slumber at last.

I could still remember the time I attended Mothercare’s Baby & Me Club meeting and learned about breastfeeding. Sadly, I wasn’t well-informed with my first two babies. I told Rix that I wouldn’t buy formula when I give birth to Cayla. That was when my breastfeeding journey began.

It was a memorable experience because I discovered I could actually do it! I wanted to give up in the early days when it was too painful for me, my nipples even bled, but I persisted, keeping in mind the benefits and how God gave me the opportunities to acquire knowledge about exclusively breastfeeding. I achieved my goals of breastfeeding for 6 months, for one year, and more.

18 months after, my breastfeeding journey had to come to an end. I would certainly miss our special time in our breastfeeding spot, the extra cuddling and holding her to me so tight she’ll laugh. And the click of a nursing bra. I feel like I’m letting go of a relationship and whenever I look at my little angel, there’s an ache in my heart. A yearning to go back in time.

hand in hand on this breastfeeding journey
hand in hand on this breastfeeding journey

Maybe I’m feeling sentimental because Cayla is our last baby. And baby she would always be, even though she’s not nursing anymore. I love that I got to practise extended breastfeeding. With all the challenges and discouragement I faced, I really am glad I took this breastfeeding journey with her.

44 Comments

  1. Pregnancy.org Pregnancy.org gives women the tools to support and empower themselves on their journey from getting pregnant to baby and beyond (age 5). Pregnancy.org is built by parents, for parents™. Pregnancy.org’s mission is to educate, empower, and connect our communities, other parents, and people trying to become parents. Pregnancy.org believes parenting is a sacred responsibility, and that education and communication will help fulfill this responsibility the best we can as a society. Pregnancy.org is proud to be WHO (World Health Organization) compliant and believes that breastfeeding is best. Pregnancy.org does not accept formula companies advertising.

  2. Congratulations! If I am ever blessed to be a mother I hope that I could also be healthy and blessed enough to also breastfeed.
    Vera recently posted..Be Kind to Yourself

  3. Malunggay is really good pala noh? I heard that it’s also for women with fertility issues.
    Lady Anne recently posted..Cebu Pacific Contest: 100 Lucky Juans

    1. I didn’t know that it also affects fertility.

  4. aby

    what a lovely story.. if i will have a baby someday, i will breastfeed too. 🙂 i want to have a special bond with my baby loves. 🙂
    aby recently posted..Give the gift of hope this Mother’s Day with special Lazada gift cards

  5. I don’t have any problem weaning my two kids. I don’t know, maybe I was doing bottle feed while at work and breastfeed when I’m at home. All of the sudden my milk just started to dry out. At 6 months both kids are bottle feed.. Way to go Cym!:)

  6. I can feel you sis. I was very emotional too when at 8 months my toddler weaned. 🙁
    Louise | Mommy Practicality recently posted..Joys of Being A Mother Plus A Mother’s Day Giveaway

  7. oh my, im in tears. I have been bfeeding my daughter for almost a year now. I dont think i will ever be ready to stop. It such a precious connection.I can feel how painful it would be.It would take alot of strong will.

  8. I am lucky that i didn’t have any problem weaning the little one as he did it by himself, i just wake one day he not like to milk coming from my breast and when he turned 2 years old he stop using the feeding bottle as he think our puppy use it.. the reason-my aunt ask his old bottle for the puppies to use.. 🙂

    1. That’s interesting!

  9. in my opinion, weaning actually is more difficult for the mom.. but way to go Cym. you will always have that special bond with Cayla
    Christine Amador recently posted..Sugar Pageant Dresses

    1. Thanks, Christine!

  10. what’s the reason of weaning?
    i’ve read its ok pa rin to breastfeed until the baby is 2 or 3?
    may emotional attachment din pala sa mommy
    reese recently posted..May 2: #TeddyDay

    1. I had to take medicine that’s not safe for breastfeeding. Yes, it’s good to breastfeed for as long as the baby wants, even up to 4 or 5 years old.

  11. Good for you that you got a chance to breastfeed your baby. Mommy needs to stop after two months since she needs to go back to work. However, there are times, she pumps it and gave to matt.
    Allan recently posted..Brain Twister

  12. You know that is my frustration, to become a breastfeeding mom. As in, I am well informed of the benefits and all but sadly ndi kya kse nga Im not always with my daughter. =( sad
    Leslie recently posted..Now that i am a mom.

  13. jellybelly

    I breastfed less than 3 months. I wasn’t producing enough milk. During the first month my baby kept on crying and I finally realized it was because she was hungry and wasn’t getting enough milk. I wish I could go back in time and get coached on breastfeeding and how to increase milk supply. It’s such a great bonding experience for mommies and babies.
    jellybelly recently posted..Madeca at The Podium

    1. If you plan to have another maybe, at least you know better already. 🙂
      ceemee recently posted..Fish, Nuvali and Tagaytay, Cymplified!

  14. Farida

    Must have been hard for you both but why wean so early (I think) because my nephew at 4 still breastfeed from his mom who also has a 5-month old baby.
    Farida recently posted..The Ten Commandments of Character

    1. I need to take medication that’s not safe for breastfeeding.

  15. kat

    wow. 18 months! the attachment is strong. hope you feel better knowing that you gave (and will still give in other forms) the best care for your little girl.
    kat recently posted..3 things that can add value to your life

    1. Thank you for this encouragement, Kat!

  16. Weird, our kids are the ones who stopped breastfeeding. My wife did get any hardship weaning them. In your case that’s really hard because it’s because of the medications.
    Daddy Yashiro recently posted..Daddy Yashiro on Baby Blast 4

  17. Meikah Ybañez-Delid

    Oh yeah one of the difficult phases of motherhood. Ha ha… but as moms we always survive. Amazing isn’t it?
    Meikah Ybañez-Delid recently posted..Children’s Party Must-Haves

  18. Being able not to breastfeed is so frustrating talaga. I remember I was crying because I can not breastfed my baby for the 1st few days. Buti nalang very supportive si mister.
    eLLa (r) recently posted..Crab Stick in Chili-Garlic Sauce

  19. been breastfeeding my son for 18 months now, too and i’m glad we’re still very much going strong. sad you had to force wean your child due to medication. hindi ba puwede kahit you’re taking medications? your meds not compatible with breastfeeding ba? sad naman. i can’t imagine myself weaning my baby in the near future. i just love this special relationship between us.
    Vanessa recently posted..OBM Baby Blast 4

    1. The doctor said it’s best not to breastfeed. It’s sad nga because I wanted her to initiate it, but so far she’s not showing any signs of weaning.

  20. Mylene

    By the way, I would like to invite to partner with me with on this year’s back to school project.

    Thanks in advance.
    Mylene recently posted..Accordions Are Not Phased – Out

  21. Mylene

    Why are you stopping her from breastfeeding? I am also happy that I have gone more than a year of breastfeeding my 2nd daughter. Until now, I’m still breastfeeding her. Formula milk is only given to her when I am out for long. I am just so happy that all her teeth has not come – out yet.
    Mylene recently posted..Accordions Are Not Phased – Out

    1. I need to take medicine for my heart and it’s not good for breastfeeding.

  22. Waaah…i can’t imagine my son weaning off my breasts. Did she just stop asking to be nursed?
    Tyna recently posted..A Day in the Rain

    1. No, she still wanted to nurse but I had to stop because I started taking medicine.

  23. Breastfeeding is not only an act of giving the food, vitamins and minerals to your baby. It is also a motherly act that connects the mother to her child.
    RonLeyba recently posted..Four Major Mistakes That Could Ruin Your Golf Swing!

    1. Yes that’s true!

  24. You are so blessed to have been given the opportunity to breastfeed! Ingit ako. 🙁 I was never able to breastfeed my first born due to her poor health then I only managed to breastfeed my youngest for a couple of weeks due to surgical complications on my part. I try to make up for that lost bonding moments by being extra caring.
    Olga recently posted..Cast Your Vote in the 7-ELECTION GULP POLLS

    1. I know I’m blessed that I was successful at achieving my breastfeeding goals with my third child. With third baby nalang, maybe?

  25. Breastfeeding is one of the advocate I want to do with my first child unfortunately my son doesn’t life it, and because I’m a working mom, so I settled for formula since birth until now. But I was able to feed my son my breast milk by pumping it.
    JanzCrystalz recently posted..Dinner with Old Friends from the Head Office

  26. You are so lucky to gone this far sis. I promise to breastfeed our next babies all the way given a chance again.

    Mommy Maye

  27. Sometimes, mommy ang hindi ready na mag wean. I breastfed my now seven year old the longest- four years. I know it was quite late, but no regrets naman. My boy grew up to be such a smart boy and I guess they were right about breastfed kids not getting sick a lot.
    Marie recently posted..25 Rules For Mothers of Daughters

    1. Yeah, it’s difficult to stop and feel like I’m depriving my baby. But, I had to. 🙁

      1. The funny thing about weaning (sa second child ko I weaned her at nine months-work related reason naman) is that mommy will miss the experience more than the baby haha. I was quite resentful ng why she didn’t seem to miss my breastmilk so badly. And oh, imagine the difficulty of weaning din, ano, like having engorged breasts!
        Marie recently posted..Your Oral Health Affects Your Overall Health

        1. Yeah, parang she forgot all about it sometimes. But there are times she still finds comfort in just touching. I had engorgement nga when we went on the 5-day-trip.

  28. Ahhh I read this agad when you shared this on FB. Dami ko kasing questions. Was it baby-led weaning, Cym? 13 months na din kami breastfeeding, and I feel anytime from now, magwi-wean pa sya. How did you know na magwi-wean na? Hindi ko ata kaya. 🙁
    Maan recently posted..DIY Beauty: Honey Lemon Body Scrub

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